


Never Be The Same.

by rayjayway



Category: Midnight Poppyland
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Sex, Threat of Rape, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:48:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22291336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayjayway/pseuds/rayjayway
Summary: Hanging out at a bar in Ares Street, Tora is waiting for Quincey to show up for a job; instead he ends up playing hero to a ‘damsel in distress’ setting wheels into motion that were never supposed to move.set to ‘Never be the same - Camilla Cabello’.
Relationships: Poppy and Tora
Comments: 32
Kudos: 197





	1. Part One

The entrance to the bar was hidden in an alley, a dingy, unlit street that nobody in their right mind would wander down. It was a hidden gem in a shithole neighbourhood and if you knew about it, it was because you were someone. Not someone good, usually someone bad, someone who made a living doing shit they shouldn’t do. Leaning against the wall just in the mouth of the alley, cigarette stuck to his lip, Tora blended almost seamlessly into the darkness.  
He was waiting to hear about a job, and Quincey sure was taking his fucking time getting him the information. He sighed, flicking the spent cigarette to the ground before turning to back inside.  
“Fuck you Quincey, I’m havin’ another drink if ya ain’t gonna give me a call.”  
As he walked back to the bar a sound caught his attention. The dull click of heels on the pavement, what the fuck kinda dumb bitch was walking around this part of town at this time of night? As he turned to find out he saw the briefest flash of milky skin and soft brown hair, loose and caught briefly by a gentle wind. Nah, it fucking couldn’t be. He shook his head in disbelief and turned back to the bar, about to go get himself that drink until another set of footsteps passed the alleyway, heavier, a man.

Something didn’t feel right, the second set of footsteps were way too fast to be just casually walking behind this chick, was she being followed? Not normally one for additional drama Tora waited a moment before finally deciding to go after them both, just as a precaution. He wasn’t a good man, but he sure as hell wasn't about to let nobody get mugged or raped. 

He just caught sight of the guy turning a corner up ahead, moving stealthily he didn’t make a sound as he followed. No point getting noticed if there wasn’t anything going down. As he turned the corner himself he found that the bastard had caught up with his intended prey; one hand covering her mouth and the other holding her against the wall, the sick fuck was definitely after something that she didn’t want to give. The chick was feisty though, he gave her that, she was kicking him fucking hard and struggling like a wild animal.

“Shut the fuck up bitch, just open your legs and play nice and I won’t have to really hurt you,” he heard as he got closer, squinting in the darkness to get a better look at them both.  
Crack. The sound reverberated around the empty street as she received a hard backhand to her face. At this point Tora broke into a jog, “Hey, what the fuck ya doing? Leave her the fuck alone!” Startled, the shithead pulled away from her and broke into a sprint, fucking coward.  
“You okay?” he said as he reached her, turning to look at her properly for the first time, clutching her cheek and sobbing. His eyes widened, no fucking way.  
“What the fuck are you doing here?”  
Poppy couldn’t hide her relief and without hesitation flung herself into his chest, clutching at his shirt.  
He put an arm round her awkwardly as she mumbled something that he didn’t quite catch.  
“Come on then, let’s get ya somewhere safer,” he sighed walking her back to the bar, “you’re gonna have to tell me what the fuck you’re doing out here though, this ain’t no place for a soft little thing like you sweetheart.”

“Hey Tora, who’s the girl?” someone called as they walked through the door.  
“Mind ya own fucking business, that’s who,” he snarled back, glaring at the little shit. He saw the blonde dick gulp and back off, hands up in a placating gesture.  
“Sorry man, didn’t mean no harm.”  
Tora turned his attention back to Poppy who was shaking violently and still sniffling occasionally.  
“Sit,” he commanded pointing to a chair. As she obeyed he took off his jacket and draped it around her shoulders before striding round to the bar and grabbing a handful of ice.  
Her cheek was already starting to bruise he noted as he held a piece of ice gingerly against it, she sucked in a sharp breath as the cold bit at her skin.  
“So you gonna tell me what the fuck you were doin’ here?” he quizzed in a harsher tone than he’d meant. Her doe eyes looked up at him for the first time, wide with fear, pupils dilated all the way. Her lip was trembling and he brushed away the thoughts of wanting to still it with his own. Nows not the fucking time he chastised himself.  
She opened her mouth the speak and then closed it again, shaking her head.  
“You want a drink? That’ll help. What’s your poison? Vodka? Whiskey?” her head nodded imperceptibly at whiskey and he left her briefly to go back to the bar, returning with a bottle and two glasses. Taking a seat next to her he poured a large measure and passed it over, she accepted it gratefully with trembling hands and immediately knocked it back wincing as it made her throat burn. Tora downed his own glass and poured them both some more, after a moment he saw some of the tension drop out of her shoulders.

“So,” he started again in a marginally softer voice, “gonna tell me why I found ya out in the street with some asshole?”  
He watched almost warily as she let out a shaky breath, “I got a call about a publishing job.”  
“And so you just came running? Here? At this time of night?” he snorted, “sweetheart, I thought you had brains?”  
He glanced down, her cheeks were burning red in silent fury and her brow had furrowed, he’d hit a nerve.  
She didn’t reply.  
“Musta been important sounding for you to have come all this way though, how did you get here? Taxi?” she nodded. “Need a ride home then?”  
“I can just get another taxi.”  
“Nah, come on. I’ll take ya.”  
Poppy glanced at the bottle of whiskey, wondering briefly if he was even under the limit to drive. Part of her wanted to say no thank you; she could just get a taxi and go home, curl up in her bed and cry. But the other part of her felt oddly safe with him, even if he did terrify her at the same time. He stood up and motioned to the door, “you comin’ or not?” he asked impatiently, walking off without her.  
She stood up, drained the rest of her glass and chased after him, keen not to be left behind.

Quincey was gonna be pissed if he came and saw he wasn’t there waiting, he mused pulling the keys out of his pocket and unlocking the car. He was gonna get some shit for this when he got back, he knew it already.  
Tora flicked his gaze over to Poppy and watched her clamber into the passenger side, she hadn’t said much for someone who usually didn’t stop flapping her lips.  
“You okay there sweetheart?” he asked as he ducked in and closed his own door. She shot him a strained smile that made him hurt deep in his gut, why the fuck did he care this much that she was so upset? Her face was taut and he could see she was barely holding it together, she still hadn’t stopped shaking and her eyes were glassy as if she was verging on tears.  
He made a mental note to find the cunt that did this and kick the shit out of him, it would have been bad enough if this had just been some random chick, but he couldn’t explain the way his throat had tightened when he saw that it was her. It had been a real punch to the stomach seeing her there, he made a separate mental note to find out who had put her in that situation in the first damn place too.

“So where am I going?” he asked gently, shattering the tense silence. He watched her intently as she explained which part of town her apartment was in, slurring her words ever so slightly. Clearly she wasn’t used drinking.  
“You can close your eyes if ya like,” he offered as the road sped by, probably a little too fast Poppy thought to herself, but the night had exhausted her and within minutes her head lolled against the seat.  
“Fuckin’ women,” he muttered to himself.

“Hey,” he said as gently as he could, shaking her shoulder, “I think we’re here, this your place?” she nodded making no movement to get out of the car.  
“Do you um…” she looked down at her knees and he noticed her picking at a loose thread on the hem of her dress, “do you want to come in?”  
After an awkward moments silence she looked back up again, her brow was knotted and she looked nervous. He had seen this face before, it usually came when she was about to say something she was unsure of, which for someone as gentle as Poppy, he found was quite often.  
“Nah, I think you’ve had enough trouble for the night.”  
“Oh, okay.”  
“Hey, you’ve had a rough night, you probably wanna go to bed right?”  
She nods unconvincingly, ignoring the sinking feeling in her stomach, “right, I guess so.” 

Another awkward silence passed between them and after a few moments she unclipped her seatbelt.  
“Well, if you’re sure,” this time when she looked at him there was a glint in her eye, something he does recognise. He’d gotten used to used having women throwing themselves at him, the constant stream of girls who didn’t have a clue who he really was, looking at him like there was nothing more to him than his body, but seeing that look in her eye was never something he expected.  
“I guess I know what this looks like,” she mumbled, “I bet you have a lot of women interested in you, you know, with you being kinda handsome. It’s okay, I just wanted to say thanks, for saving me y’know? Plus, after everything that’s happened tonight, I felt real safe with you.” Another pain shoots deep in his stomach and he internally groans.  
“Yeah I hear ya. Anyways, you should get going, you shouldn’t feel safe with me kid,” he snorted, “I ain’t no prince fuckin’ charmin’.”  
Her face fell and she opened her mouth to reply but after thinking better of it pulled the door handle open instead, swinging her legs out gracefully.  
“Well, thanks again.”  
“Don't mention it, just don’t go running off to shitty places anymore ya hear?”  
“Goodnight Tora.”  
“Night.”  
“Hey Tora? You should know, Prince Charmings aren’t always all that. I thought I had mine but…” she shrugged, “he was a rat.”  
Before he could respond she shut the car door. He watched her let herself into the apartment and once she was in he let out a deep sigh he hadn’t even realised he’d been holding in and lowered his head to rest on the steering wheel. Jesus women gave him a headache.  
Had herself a Prince huh? “Turns out ya ain’t got much luck with men Kid.” he muttered to himself, surprised at how annoyed he was by that. If she ever asked him to, Tora would rip the guy to pieces, but he doubted she would. From what little he knew of her so far, he’d already figured her to be far too soft for her own good. She even looked soft, you took one look at those big eyes and you just knew she was a pushover, but the fact that other people took advantage of that made him feel unnaturally protective. And the thought of her with some other asshole made him seethe with a jealousy he couldn’t explain. She wasn’t his to protect, he told himself; fuck, for all he knew she probably saw him as a thug who had been the slightly better option than being raped.  
What the fuck had she been doing down Ares street though, the thought of what almost happened to her made his skin crawl. Tora had seen some shit, done some shit, he wasn’t averse to gore and knew that back alley rapes happened at least weekly in that part of town. It had never bothered him, mostly he never even thought about it, but seeing Poppy caught up in that had sent a white hot rage through him. He pulled out his phone from his inner jacket pocket and called Ronzo.  
“S’up boss, what can I do for you?”  
“I need some information, that girl I sent ya the photo of, someone called her tonight. Find out who and send me whatever you can.”  
“The cutie? Sure thing, I’ll get on it right now.”  
Tora hung up. Ronzo had never failed to find out what he needed to know, he didn’t know how he did it and he didn’t care, but he’d find out who out Poppy in that situation and hes make sure they got what they deserved


	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanging out at a bar in Ares Street, Tora is waiting for Quincey to show up for a job; instead he ends up playing hero to a ‘damsel in distress’ setting wheels into motion that were never supposed to move.
> 
> set to ‘Never be the same - Camilla Cabello’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it’s taken me so long to upload. I had to finish this chapter and I had a poorly baby for literally over a week who needed all mamas attention.
> 
> Thank you for your patience if you’re reading this 💜

“Where have you been? I’ve been waiting half and hour Tora. You were meant to be here when I arrived.”  
Tora rolled his eyes at Quincey, more annoying little brother than boss.  
“Keep ya panties on, sum’n came up.”  
“Yes, so I heard,” Quincey replied, gesturing to the blonde from earlier, “Carl tells me you had a ‘piece of ass’ with you.” Tora shot him a blazing look and to his satisfaction Carl looked away fearfully. “Not on company time Tora, keep your bimbos for later. We have business to attend to and I need you to drive.”  
“C’mon then, stop yappin’ and lets go,” he snapped, trying not to rise to Quincey calling Poppy a bimbo.

“Turn in here and turn your lights off.” Quincey said after they’d been driving about 10 minutes.  
Tora did as instructed and pulled into a quiet street, turning off the lights and engine. They were in a quiet little cul de sac, not the usual place his line of work had him visiting, the houses were quaint, almost pretty.  
“Now then, this house here,” He pointed, “Gerald in there owes me a lot of money. I need you to bring him out here and make him pay me back.”  
“You want him roughed up?”  
Quincey thought for a moment then looked back at Tora with a coy smile, “whatever it takes.” he shrugged finally. Quincey didn’t usually enjoy the violence, he was less like his father than he realised, getting queasy at the sight of blood, happier with his head in a book than he was out on a job. This guy must have really pissed him off if he hadn’t balked at the idea of kicking the shit out of him.  
Tora opened the door to the car and strode silently to the flat, knocking on the door gently. A few seconds passed and it swung open; he forced his way in, grabbing the terrified man by the scruff of his shirt and pinned him up against the wall. “You Gerald?” the man nodded, his eyes so wide they were almost popping.  
“You got a weapon on you?” a rapid shake of the head.  
“C’mon then, got someone who wants to talk to you.”   
He dragged him out unceremoniously and slammed him face first into the hood of Quincey’s car, earning him a scolding and a disapproving glare, “Tora! Not my car!” he moaned before turning his attention to the cowering wretch in front of him.  
“I think he’s pissed himself Quince, don’t think you’re gonna have trouble getting what you want from him.”  
Quincey winced at the sight of him, trembling and soaked through with his own urine.  
“Gerald, do you remember last month when you told me you had my money? And that you’d bring it to me straight away?”   
He nodded feverently, “yes Sir, I remember, but m-my kid, she got sick and I-“ Quincey cut him off.  
“I don’t care about your child Gerald, I’m sure it’s very sad, but really what I want is my money. Not a sob story.”  
“I swear, I can bring it to you tomorrow sir, I swear, please, my kid is inside!” his eyes darted towards his home and then back to Quincey, fearful, watery and pleading.  
Quincey softened slightly, the man wasn’t a threat, just some average Joe down on his luck again. His father would disapprove of showing any leniency, but he thought the man deserved one more chance.  
“Very well then, tomorrow. But I mean it Gerald, if you don’t turn up, my sniffer dog here will track you down and he won’t play so nicely. Tora, down boy.”   
Tora released him and stepped back, allowing the piss soaked man to scramble away.  
“Thank you sir, tomorrow I swear.” He bowed awkwardly and ran as fast as his shaky legs would carry him back to his apartment.  
Quincey let out a long shaky sigh, dropping his shoulders and rolling the tension out of them. “The bow was a nice touch,” he mused, “maybe I should have you all bow to me?”  
“Good luck,” Tora snorted, distracted by a buzzing in his pocket. He pulled out the phone and put up a ‘one minute’ finger, Quincey nodded.

“Ronzo, you find ‘em?”  
“Yeah boss, but you ain’t gonna be thrilled about who it is.”  
“Just send it over.” Tora ended the call and waited for the buzz of the text, Ronzo was good, it came within seconds. 

Fuck. He recognised the name immediately as being one of Quincey’s men, someone he’d gone chasing down folk a few times with. The realisation that the call to lure Poppy to Ares street had come from inside the Balthuman organisation turned his stomach a little. What the fuck was going on and what was he getting himself into?  
“Quinceton, get in the car. I gotta go.” Quincey cocked just head to the side and studied Tora briefly. He wasn’t blind, he could see without needing explanation that something was bothering him. In all the time that he had known Tora he’d never once seen even a flicker of emotion, he was cold and solid in a way that made Quincey feel both impressed and uncomfortable. And yet here he was, twitching almost nervously, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, his face was as impassive as ever but his jaw was clenched so tight it gave the game away.  
He was deep in thought, it was clearly not something he wanted to share and despite being his boss, Quincey was often terrified by the man and he did not feel inclined to pry.  
They drove back in silence and as soon as they arrived Tora threw Quincey his keys and stomped off towards his own car without a word or a glance, leaving him utterly bewildered and wondering what could possibly have gotten him so worked up.

Finally out of earshot Tora dialled the number Ronzo had sent over for Poppy, it had been there on the system and he’d figured it might be useful. It rang endlessly and then finally went to voicemail, a short and sweet “hi, it’s Poppy, leave a message!” Shit, she even sounded sweet in her damn voicemail message.  
“Answer the damn phone,” he grumbled to himself, growing more and more annoyed at himself for caring so much whether or not she was okay.  
Why did he care so much? He pictured her face as she’d gotten out of his car, she had still looked so scared, her tiny frame drowning in his jacket. She had felt safe with him for some unknown fucking reason, and instead of just being nice for a while and letting her he’d completely dismissed her and sent her off alone after a real shitty night.   
“Why the fuck am I like this?” he sighed, “hell, if ya don’t slam the door in my face kid, I promise I’ll try and be sweet for a change.” Then he rolled his eyes, ‘sweet’ not being something he actually considered himself capable of.

He pulled up outside Poppy’s apartment and turned the engine off, it looked like every single light in the place was on and it made his chest feel tight. He climbed the steps and knocked gently on her door, “it’s me kid, you awake? Open up.” After a few moments he checked the time on his phone, it was just past midnight and he wondered if she’d fallen asleep. To his surprise he heard a soft shuffling and the turn of a key in the lock, the door creaked open and a single brown doe eye peeked out at him. Her face was ashy and her eyes rimmed red, she looked like she’d been crying the entire time since he’d dropped her off, “Tora? What are you doing here?” she croaked.  
“Came to check on you kid, can I come in?”  
“I thought I’d had enough trouble for the night?” she quizzed, there was a tiny edge of playfulness in her sad voice and he saw the hint of a smile at the corners of her lips.   
“Well I can go if ya want?” he smirked, pretending to turn and leave.   
“No! No, p-please?” she squeaked, her tiny hand gripping his wrist like a vice, her fear vibrating into him. She pulled gently and he allowed himself to be led into her apartment, pushing the door closed behind him.   
“Nice place you got,” he said looking around. It was entirely how he’d imagine her home to be, neat and organised, cushions with positive slogans and bright vases of flowers. There was a small Poppy sized armchair in one corner with what looked to be three different blankets strewn over it. It looked like she’d probably been curled up there and made herself a nest, he felt a sharp pang of guilt at the thought.  
Feeling a slight amount of pressure on his arm he turned back, Poppy was resting her head against him, her eyes were closed and she looked completely exhausted. A smile crept at Toras lips as he looked down at her.  
“C’mon then, let’s get ya into bed.” Poppys’ eyes flew open in shock and he quickly backtracked, “not like that, I mean ya need some sleep.”  
“I don’t think I can sleep,” she said warily, “I’m scared I’ll have nightmares.” She looked down at her feet and he softened into her. He was no stranger to nightmares; unable to remember the last night that he wasn’t plagued by them, ripping him sweat drenched and screaming from an already fitful sleep.   
“Course ya can, I’ll stay right here. Make sure ya safe so you can get some rest,” he smiled at her as reassuringly as he could manage and pushed her towards her open bedroom door.  
She lay down and pulled the covers up to her chin like a cocoon, he leaned in the doorway watching.  
“You can come in if you like, instead of standing there all night.” Her eyes darted to the empty space beside her and he took a seat.   
“Okay, now sleep kid. You’ll feel better after some sleep.” She nodded and her eyes fluttered shut, within minutes her breathing slowed and her face relaxed. He brushed a stray lock of hair away from her face and then quietly laughed at himself, wondering when he got so fucking soft.


	3. Part three.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanging out at a bar in Ares Street, Tora is waiting for Quincey to show up for a job; instead he ends up playing hero to a ‘damsel in distress’ setting wheels into motion that were never supposed to move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, it’s been a while.
> 
> Sorry! I’ve had a lot going on and I just haven’t been in a place for writing, so instead of stressing myself and churning out something I would have been unhappy with I decided to take a break. 
> 
> Hope this chapter is okay and thanks for bearing with me (:

“What the fuck?” Tora opened his eyes blearily, looking around as they adjusted to the dark and his brain caught up and remembered where he was. To his right he heard the noise again, a whimper and shuffling. He watched for a moment as Poppy’s tiny frame wrestled with the comforter, kicking it away from her, she was fretful and it took him a second to realise she was having a nightmare.

Her nightmare looked nothing compared to the version he was used to; it looked like a minor inconvenience instead of him roaring out of a deep, tumultuous sleep realising he'd rolled halfway across the room, thrown another glass at the wall and knocked over the shabby coffee table. By comparison, her nightmare looked almost peaceful but still, he’d be a shit if he let it continue.  
“Kid.” He whispered, “hey, Pops, wake up, ya dreamin’.”  
Her eyes snapped open and she flew into a sitting position, she eyed him suspiciously until the recognition dawned on her face.  
“Tora,” she whispered, making his name sound like a prayer, it was still so new to him. He’d heard it different ways before; spat in disgust, fearfully whispered, ‘big bro Tora’ to anyone who wasn’t completely terrified of him, but no one had ever said his name the way she said it. No one had ever made him feel like he wasn’t so much of a monster just by saying his goddamn name.  
“You’re okay kid, you were having a dream that’s all. You need anythin’? Glass of water?” she shook her head, her eyes still squinting in the darkness.  
“I’m okay.” She reached across him to a bedside table and flicked the switch for the lamp, the dim light illuminating the room. She couldn’t believe that he had stayed, in the short time she had known him she already realised that this was a very un-Tora-like thing to do.  
For a moment neither of them knew what to say. The awkward silence made them both shift uncomfortably on the bed, neither able to maintain the eye contact any longer. Tora noticed a comb on the bedside table and passed it to her, “here, ya hairs a mess after all that thrashing around you did,” he smirked watching her scowl as a soft blush spread across her cheeks.  
“You’re so rude!” she huffed, dragging the comb through the tangles, more annoyed that he wasn’t seeing her at her best than the teasing.  
“You know me,” he shrugged, reaching out and softly tucking a strand behind her ear, unnerved when he felt her freeze. He pulled his hand back quickly, not even sure why he had done it in the first place but internally kicking himself for making her feel uneasy.  
“Sorry, do you want me to go?” He asked, surprised when she shook her head quickly, “okay, do you wanna try going back to sleep?”  
“I don’t think there’s much point, do you want some breakfast instead?”  
“It’s 4am Pops,” he laughed, watching bemused as she got out of bed and wrapped a robe around herself.  
“So? You coming or not?” 

Poppy’s kitchen was a mismatch of modern gadgets and old fashioned crockery, he leaned idly against the counter flipping pages of a battered recipe book and watched as she busied herself.  
Tora wasn’t much of a chef, for him cooking was tedious, something he only did when he absolutely had to. He watched almost in awe as she strode confidently around the kitchen, mixing things one minute, chopping, frying and stirring the next, completely at ease and in her element.  
“What’s that smile for?” she asked, snapping him from his thoughts.  
“I ain’t smilin’,” he grinned as she narrowed her eyes.  
“You’re still smirking!”  
“So what are ya cookin’?” she rolled her eyes at him and he stifled a laugh, she was so easy to get a rise out of.  
“Ummmm, I’ve got bacon here, eggs, pancakes in there,” she pointed to another bowl, “this pan is for French toast, do you drink coffee or tea?”  
“Whoa, whoa, are ya feeding an army??” this time it was Poppy who laughed.  
“No, just one very large man,” she beamed, pointing a spoon at him.  
“I woulda settled for some toast kid,” he shrugged, immediately wishing he’d kept his mouth shut as her face changed from excited to crestfallen and her shoulders slumped slightly. Fuck.

“I just thought it would be nice…” Now he’d fucking done it, what an asshole. ‘Say something you big, dumb fuck!’ He thought to himself, before finally choosing instead to close the distance between them and wrap himself around her. It took her by surprise and Tora wondered briefly if it was too much, then when she relaxed into him and pressed her forehead against his chest he knew he’d done the right thing.  
“Sorry kid, I didn’t mean to rain on your parade.”  
“It’s okay,” she mumbled, muffled into his shirt, “but can you let go? I think something is burning,” he released her and they both looked at the pans, the pancakes she’d been cooking were ruined and the eggs were beyond salvage.  
“Ah fuck, I didn’t mean to wreck everything Pops,” he groaned, “can I do anything to help?”  
She glanced up at him, perplexed that he looked genuinely upset about her pancakes and shook her head, “but it’s my fault,” he muttered as Poppy pressed a finger to his brow and smoothed out the crease from his frown.  
“You’ll get wrinkles if you frown so much, they’re only pancakes, it doesn’t matter.” She moved back to the pans, scraping the burnt food away and turning her attention to the bacon and French toast.

Tora backed off and left her to it, unwilling to touch anything for fear of fucking it up further than he already had, he retreated back to his safe space leaning against the counter as a spectator.  
This whole situation was so alien and so fascinating to him, it was a glimpse of a lifestyle that he had never known and had grimly accepted that he would never have.  
Sunday mornings cooking together in the kitchen, laughing and joking wasn’t a life that was afforded to people like him, ‘domestic bliss’ with someone like Poppy wasn’t part of the gang member lifestyle. It was also something that he’d never thought he wanted; something too quiet, and plain and trivial for him, but he couldn’t remember ever feeling less like a thug than he had since she opened the door to him.  
Tora batted away the thoughts of him and Poppy, acutely aware that the more time she spent around him the more danger she would be in. If he could get the notebook from her he could disappear again and she’d be safe.  
Would it hurt him to leave her? Why did he care? He barely knew the girl and he was hardly the weeping feelings type, so why was he stood here thinking about relationship shit that was never gonna happen anyway? 

“Hey, earth to Tora? Did you hear me?” his eyes flickered back to her, and she noted that he’d been miles away, “breakfast is ready.” She motioned to a plate on the counter stacked with French toast and bacon, a cafetière and a bottle of maple syrup.  
“This looks great.” He hesitated before moving across the kitchen, Poppy looked up at him, thrilled at his approval.  
“Are you just gonna stand there staring or are you gonna grab a plate?” she teased before he reached down and cupped her face in his hands, taking them both completely by surprise.

He thought this was supposed to be natural, it was something that most people took for granted, but for someone who had been shot at plenty and barely flinched Tora sure was shitting his pants.  
Sensing his intention and also his turmoil, Poppy took the decision away from him. She pushed up onto her tippy-toes and closed the distance between them, softly and sweetly pressing her lips onto his before drawing back to gauge his reaction.  
“Not so fast,” he murmured, pulling her back to him, the short-lived shock dissipating into desire.  
In that fleeting moment of gentle kisses there was only them; no Balthuman Organisation, no notebook, no Goliath or Quincey, he wasn’t a tiger on the hunt. He was just Tora and he couldn’t remember if he’d ever been just Tora.

When he finally pulled himself away from her his head was swimming, he couldn’t think of a single word that would do justice to the way he was feeling, but the feeling was brief.  
“I should go,” he said suddenly, stepping back and trying not to look at the hurt confusion on Poppy’s face.  
“What?? Why?” she huffed indignantly.  
“I can’t do this to you, it’s not safe for you to be around me.”  
“Not safe?”  
“My job kid, my line of work makes me the kind of guy you should avoid.”  
“Well I figured that you weren’t a darn milkman Tora, but why does that matter?”  
He threw his hands up in exasperation, “I can’t tell ya Pops, I can’t tell ya anything! And even if I could I wouldn’t want to!”  
“But why?!”  
“Because! Because you’re the only person who doesn’t look at me like I’m a fuckin’ animal Poppy! Because when ya look at me there ain’t any fear in your eyes even though there should be! And if I tell ya what I do, what I’ve done, you’ll never look at me the same again,” he hung his head and she snaked her arms around his waist, “I never knew that I needed someone to look at me the way you do.”


	4. Part Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanging out at a bar in Ares Street, Tora is waiting for Quincey to show up for a job; instead he ends up playing hero to a ‘damsel in distress’ setting wheels into motion that were never supposed to move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! 
> 
> I just wanted to say that I was genuinely overwhelmed with the love I had putting out the last chapter.
> 
> I hope you all like this one too 🥰

It felt like an age had passed, Poppy had said nothing but her arms hadn’t let go or even loosened, he wondered if she was just scared to look.  
“Poppy?”  
“Mm?”  
She tilted her head back and peered up at him, her expression unreadable but soft, he was grateful that she still didn’t look afraid of him.  
“I’m not a good person Pops, I told you before, I’m not some Prince Charming. I work for bad people and I do bad shit. I don’t know how to do all the nice shit that people do when they’re with someone and you should have someone who does.”  
She released her grip and stepped back and Tora tried to hide his disappointment at the distance between them, despite him desperately having hoped to create it in the first place. He was expecting her to ask him to leave now, to tell him that he’d succeeded and that she wanted nothing to do with him, but she didn’t.   
Instead she grabbed two slices of French toast from the plate, “it’s going cold,” she offered, holding one piece out to him, he almost snorted. He’d just told her that he was a danger to her and here she was, smiling coyly at him and holding out toast like a cinnamon-sweet life preserver. 

“Fine,” he grumbled as he accepted, “but we gotta talk about stuff.”

Poppy sat cross-legged on her bed, looking outwardly calm, nibbling at the corner of her toast while her brain whirred at 100mph. She watched him with a curious intensity as he sat on the opposite edge, as far away as he could and with dismay she figured he was ready to flee. His face betrayed him for the first time ever since she’d met him, instead of being hidden by a mask of stone the sadness was there plain as day and it hurt to see, she wanted to reach out to him and comfort him but she held back.

“I know that what you do isn’t good Tora.” she started, “but that doesn’t make you a bad person. I’m not worried that you’d ever hurt me, in fact, the opposite, I’m worried that you’re more likely to do something stupid trying to keep me safe.”  
“I don’t want to have to keep ya safe though Pops, I don’t want you to be in danger in the first place. And I know if ya stick around me then you’ll get drawn into some shitty situation and you’ll get hurt.”  
He sighed deeply and she waited patiently for him to continue.  
“There’s no way out for me Pops, I been in this since I was a kid, since I didn’t know any better and I didn’t ever have a choice, it was either this or I’d probably be dead by now. I ain’t ever had anyone who loved me or cared about me, and I ain’t ever loved anyone or cared about them... I don’t think about what I do anymore, I just do it. It’s robotic and I don’t feel anything at all.”  
He gazed at her, his eyes burning into hers, he was determined to make her see sense and the only way he was sure she would stay away from him was to scare her. He braced himself for whatever her reaction would be, afraid to look away from her because he knew that after this he’d probably never see her again.

“I could take a life and feel absolutely nothing kid. I don’t feel sad about it, my boss asks me to kill that guy, his wife, his kids? I’d do it. It’s them or me.”

He watched her shudder, the colour draining from her face and he knew that his words had hit their mark. It wasn’t true, he wouldn’t hit a woman unless he really had to, and he would never hurt a damn kid, but he’d rather be a monster now than have to watch Poppy get hurt down the line. 

“I don’t believe you.” she said finally.  
“...‘scuse me?”  
“I don’t believe that what you’re saying is true and I don’t fool that easily. I don’t know everything about you Tora, in fact, I know very little about you and I’ll wait as long as it takes for you to be ready to tell me. But I know you have so much goodness in you so I’m not about to believe any of what you’re saying.”

He rolled his eyes and opened his mouth but she cut him off.

“No listen, don’t try to talk over me I’m not done,” she continued while Tora sat stunned, taken aback by her sudden fieryness, “Being forced to do bad things doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a victim of circumstance. You were young and you didn’t have much choice, it’s what you do but it isn’t who you are. I won’t let you run away because of some valiant but stupid attempt to stop anything bad happening to me. I’ll pay whatever price it costs to show you that you’re worth sticking with.”

Dumbfounded, Tora crawled across the bed and pulled her into a crushing embrace, “you’re something else, you know that kid?” he whispered into her shoulder, his words catching in his throat with some emotion he didn’t understand. When he pulled away she was beaming at him, he lay down next to her and she leaned into him. He knew that the conversation was over for now, and while part of him was seething that she was so stubborn and unwilling to see sense, the rest of him felt indescribable. He was conflicted between overwhelming happiness that despite his warnings, she wanted to be here with him, and fear.   
Fear that he was getting attached to something he didn’t think he could bear to lose.

“Change the subject then, talk about something else.”   
“Something else?”  
“Yeah, tell me about your shitty ‘Prince Charming. You said he was a rat, what did he do? You want me to kill him?”   
“You wanna know about Julri?” she sounded genuinely confused, “why?”  
He shrugged, not even sure why he’d asked or why he’d had such a burning curiosity about the mystery dickhead who had hurt her since she’d mentioned him. He could feel it in the pit of his stomach though, a weird, bubbling pool of anger just from mentioning it.  
“There’s not much to tell really, I went to visit him and he was with another woman.”   
Tora forced an angry hiss through his teeth, trying consciously not to grit them so hard.   
“Asshole,” he muttered quietly, “stupid fucker gets you first and does that?”   
Poppy looked at him and giggled, he’d said it under his breath but she’d still caught it. Was he jealous? She didn’t know whether to take great pleasure in teasing him about it or whether to soothe his sudden anger.   
“What ya laughing for? If I ever meet him I’ll-“ she put a finger to his lips.  
“You won’t. If you ever meet him you won’t hurt him, I don’t want that. You’re right though,” she mused, “he is an asshole, but you’re better than that.”

She kissed him gently on the cheek and looked him straight in the eyes, “he never ‘got me first’ though.” she shrugged, clambering off the bed.  
“Wait, what? What do you mean?” he narrowed his eyes at her.  
“I think you know exactly what I meant,” she smiled a smug little smile and sashayed away, leaving him open mouthed on the bed.   
So, ‘Julri’ hadn’t fucked her. No one had. This sweet little flower had been out there shining the whole time and no one had picked her? What the fuck was wrong with everyone? No one had hesitated to stomp all over her but she’d somehow still stayed beautiful and soft, and even with all that, no one had seen her worth?

Tora found the idea that he was the only person in the world who saw her for what she was truly impossible. Surely to fuck the men out there could see it too.   
She saw him too though. Something in him that he was almost certain she was making up, something that she was seeing because she wanted to see it and not because it actually existed. He had never been good, not a single part of him was ‘good’. But here she was telling him that she could see it.

How the fuck had she turned him into some kind of philosopher, what was he doing sat here alone using his damn brain to think about how good or bad he was? He snorted and chased after her.

“Hey, ya wanna tell me more about that ‘never got me first,’ comment?” he grinned, “you got me intrigued kid.”  
The smugness faded and a blush crept across her cheeks, she really was the epitome of innocence.   
“We never did… Stuff?” she offered sheepishly, blushing deeper when he raised a single eyebrow at her.   
“Stuff?”   
She looked away, embarrassed, suddenly very aware that she was probably the colour of a ripe tomato.

“Please don’t make me elaborate,” she sighed softly, as the self-consciousness came crashing in.  
He crossed the room to her and made her look at him, “Hey, Pops, there’s no shame in not doing ‘stuff’. Do shit when you’re ready.” He smoothed out the frown in her forehead like she’d done to him earlier and smiled, “you’ll get wrinkles if you frown so much.”

“You don’t understand though,” she muttered.  
“What don’t I understand?” he cocked his head, momentarily perplexed, “I was sure I said the right thing there.”  
“I guess you did, no pressure is great and all, but…”

“But…?” He felt it before she even said it, it stirred in the pit of his stomach, a prickly heat suddenly setting him on fire. Her big doe eyes pierced his, she had him. He couldn’t fight what would happen next even if he wanted to.

“But what if I wanted to do stuff?”

Fuck.


	5. Part Five.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanging out at a bar in Ares Street, Tora is waiting for Quincey to show up for a job; instead he ends up playing hero to a ‘damsel in distress’ setting wheels into motion that were never supposed to move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me again! 
> 
> Sorry for the last cliffhanger 😬 Hope this one is okay 🥰

Tora hoisted her up onto the kitchen counter and she wrapped her legs around him. 

“You sure ya wanna do this?” he asked, she answered him with a long, deep kiss until he pulled away.   
“I need words Kid, I need you to say yes or no. Are ya sure ya wanna do this with… me?” He looked nervous, all of his confidence suddenly gone.   
“There’s no one else in the world Tora, I wouldn’t want this any other way.”

He lifted her again and carried her to the bedroom, supporting her with one arm and slowly peeling her shirt off with the other. Before she let him in he had promised that he’d try and be sweet to her, this was his chance. The magnitude of her trusting him with her first time was a little daunting, and it had him silently praying not to let her down.

Gently, he lay her on the bed and brought his face level with hers, holding himself above her with arms like steel, drinking in her flushed cheeks and wild-eyed expression. A shock of black hair surrounded Poppy as Tora lowered his face to meet hers, gifting her with the briefest flash of a kiss against her own before he vanished, his mouth nothing more than a whisper down her neck and body. She sucked in a sharp breath as he nibbled at her skin, teasing a prickling spread of goosebumps from the alabaster canvas. He pulled at her shorts, sliding them down her legs and tossing them away before continuing the trail of tender kisses. Her body trembled under his hands, but as he glanced up at her, he noted that it wasn’t because she was scared.

“Unhook this for me and take it off,” he whispered smoothly, snapping the strap of her bra. She obeyed and slipped it off, bashfully covering herself once it was gone. His hands were strong and warm around hers as he moved with a tame confidence, preventing her from covering her body despite the deep rouge that flooded her sweet face. He smirked, the expression as predatory as it was affectionate, and murmured to her with a voice that sent shivers down her spine: "Don't cover yourself, kitten. Your body is perfect."

Eager to see what other responses he could elicit from her body he delved further. Pushing aside the pastel lace of her underwear, he dipped down and trailed his tongue through the already slick folds before swirling it around the sensitive bud of nerves, satisfied when she bucked her hips and allowed a hushed moan to escape.   
Spurred on by the delicious guttural sounds he eased in a tentative finger, curling it to stroke the spot that he hoped would give her even more pleasure. 

She propped herself up on her elbows and he glanced up, his efforts seemingly rewarded with the look of shock she displayed on her face, “wh-what did you do there?”  
“This?” he queried, stroking again a little faster and watching her head dip back.   
“Oh, oh wow,” she gushed, “do it more, please?”  
She didn’t have to ask him twice, her reaction had him straining harder against his pants, his body ached to join in with her pleasure but he pushed back the desire for a little longer to stretch out a moment just for her. He eased in a second finger, pausing to make sure it wasn’t uncomfortable before pumping them both faster than before, watching mesmerised at the way her body heaved at his touch, her hands making fists in the sheets.   
“Fuck, oh Tora,” the words tumbled out in a haze, her body trembling and tightening around his fingers as she reached her peak. It was the first time he’d ever heard her swear and it changed her voice from light and airy to something primal and urgent.  
Within seconds he had removed his own clothes and joined her on the bed, anxious to continue but not before taking in the sight of her, wild, flushed and beautiful.   
She pressed a hand against his face and pulled him down to her, enveloping his lips with her own, he was surprised by her sudden boldness as she took him in her hand and guided him back to her. He teased her with the tip of his dick, slowly and carefully sliding in inch by inch until he was finally down to the hilt, pressing his forehead to hers as he hissed out a breath, revelling in how tight she was around him. 

“Sweetheart, you got any idea how good you feel?” he grunted, flashing her a wicked grin as he pushed up into her. Her face was an open book, he had always known exactly what she was thinking but right now the unashamed display of absolute pleasure delighted him.  
He settled into an easy rhythm, trying to ignore the impulse to fuck her like he usually would and give her something worthy of what she deserved, but pacing himself was harder than he imagined. With every thrust she clenched around him, her nails dug into his shoulders and one hand was tangled tightly into his hair, her legs stayed like a vice around him keeping him flush as her body wound closer and closer to another climax. It was only minutes before Tora knew he couldn’t hold out much longer and thankful that this tryst was likely to be one of many he upped the pace, settling into a punishing speed, pounding her core until he finally found release.

The second orgasm hit Poppy like a wave, rocking her shaking body into a state of complete, overwhelming exhaustion, he felt the grip around him loosen slightly and sank down on top of her, both of them panting heavily. They lay together, both wondering who’d be the first to break the silence, their hearts thumping staccato in their chests.

Eventually Tora broke the spell, “you okay there kid?” he huffed, still out of breath, grateful when she nodded and offered him a sleepy smile.  
“Ya ain’t sore?”  
“Only a little,” she whispered, too tired to elaborate. She would tell him later how he’d really made her feel when she could string a sentence together more coherently.   
“How did it feel then? To do ‘stuff’?” She didn’t have to look at him to know he was smirking and she shoved him playfully. 

“I don’t have anything to compare it to, but um, it felt pretty good to me.”  
What he really wanted to ask was, “had he done okay?” Usually he wouldn’t give a fuck of he’d made a girl come or not, he never really cared about their pleasure and the sex was probably just a means to an end.   
He hadn’t meant to care so much about Poppy nor had he expected it. It was unprecedented, taking him completely by surprise that someone so unassuming had managed to force her way into every crack of his useless heart and turn it into something that almost resembled what it should be. He rolled off of her reluctantly before pulling her into his side, unwilling to completely break the cocoon of just them, she looked wiped out and he smoothed the hair away that was sticking to her brow.

“It’s okay kid, you can sleep,” he mumbled into her hair before closing his own honey coloured eyes, “we’ll talk more when you’ve had a rest.”  
“You should rest too.” she yawned, nuzzling into his shoulder, breathing in the musky, heady scent of him.  
“Good idea,” he muttered, knowing that he was already prepared to sneak out as soon as she was asleep.

He had to find that notebook. Keeping her safe and away from all the shit that followed him around was now more important than it ever had been.


End file.
